However, some days, I do mind. Building a career, having hobbies, finding fulfillment. All of it comes after getting married and having kids. What I do know is that that puts a hell of a lot of pressure on dating.
No motivation but to turn the pillow over to its colder side and lay there half asleep, unanswered questions gliding in and out of my mind. This was how most of my mornings went in my last days of college.
I had never been too motivated by the promise of college, even in high school, but it had always been set in my head that a college degree was my goal, my path to that elusive happiness we all crave.
I know what I want to do for the rest of my life!
All that happened was a continuous cycle of partying, all night study sessions, followed by a complete and utter lack of fulfillment. So I dropped out. I moved back home with no degree, disappointed parents, and a deep sense of failure and confusion. It was one of the most trying times in my life simply because I realized that my life had been on autopilot.
Everything about my future was ambiguously assumed. I would get into debt by going to college, then I would be forced to get a job to pay off that debt, while still getting into more and more debt by buying a house and a car.
It seemed like a never-ending cycle that had no place for the possibility of a dream. I wanted more—but not necessarily in the material sense of personal wealth and success. I wanted more out of life.
I wanted to spring out of bed in the morning, rain or shine, and have that zest for life that seemed so intrinsic in early childhood. We all have a dream. It might be explicitly defined or just a vague idea, but most of us are so stuck in the muck of insecurity and self-doubt that we just dismiss it as unrealistic or too difficult to pursue.
We can, and will, fail. Possibly many, many, many times. But that is what makes it exciting for me.
That uncertainty can be viewed negatively, or it can empower us. Failing is what makes us grow, it makes us stronger and more resilient to the aspects of life we have no control over. The fear of failure, although, is what makes us stagnant and sad.
I had always loved writing and telling stories, but the task of writing a book just seemed too daunting and cumbersome for a nineteen-year-old kid.Israel should raze terrorist homes to their very foundations YnetnewsOp-ed: Its healthy for Israeli democracy to have a debate on the efficacy of knocking down terrorists houses, but it works and should be implemented in full.
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